Absolutely, the sounding board, I guess, is the biggest guiding force. Nothing quite like it.

I agree there with Shirsha. Another interesting facet in a relationship is when one resorts to emotional blackmail and that happens ever so often. People remain in negative relationships just coz they feel that the other desperately needs them and they can possibly change the other for the better, when that mostly does not happen.

One of my friends believes that if two people love each other, thats all that matters. She does not think that family and friends opinions matter in the long run. Without going into details, she and her boyfriend have behaved irresponsibly and now she is estranged from her family. Now her guy wants to break up with her because of all that has happened. Is that the best thing for her to do or should she try to hold on the guy? She believes that his and her family will come around eventually if she sticks to her stand but we all feel that she is making a big mistake and should move on in life and acknowledge her mistakes.

i think relationships along with prom night, losing your virginity and the college experience are one of the most ‘done’ subjects in history.

by the way is anyone going to do one on their relationship with their credit card? i am presently in hiding since American Express has a hit man out for me.

Hey Anonymous, based on what you have said in your crumb, I think the first step your friend needs to take is to introspect and acknowledge her behaviour. Next, she needs to talk to her family and friends and make an attempt to understand their concerns and address them. And lastly, I would not recommend holding on to anyone against their wishes - if the guy feels that the relationship should end, she needs to respect that and move on.
Shirsha, I am with you on the sounding board being the guiding force! Family and friends do seem to have a knack of getting to the gut and looking out for your best interests even when some people attempt hara-kiri.
Candy, clinging on to someone or forcing them to stay in a relationship, I think, will never ensure that you have them always. Something’s got to give, at some point.

gauravjain, I am going to let you write about the less “done” topics.

please don’t take that as a criticism, its just a thought sparked off by doing a run down on some of the sitcoms on air -

Yes Dear, King of Queens, According to Jim, Still Standing, Eight rules, My Wife and Kids.

They all deal with the EXACT same issues.

anyway, i think there is a great deal missing for the Indian audience from an Indian perspective on tv and in other media.

so, please do continue.

I will :-). No offence taken.
Maybe you can do one on the sitcoms…..

yes ma’am

while were at it, id love to see a take on parent - children relationships.

working on it gaurav… wait and watch

meenakshi, really looking forward to that too… it made interesting conversation the other day

my best friend’s relationship with his boyfriend is not working out for the last 3 years !
yeah , you heard it right . it has been 3 years and he still can’t give it up. it has a pattern for sure. and it has always been some little thing working out for a while followed by refusals of commitment and things falling apart.

none of those “tips and tools” works .

Hey Anant, sometimes people are too scared to be alone and put the person they are with on a pedestal, making it all the harder to let go. Tips and tools will work only if he takes the initiative. And that will happen only if he is acknowledges that there is a problem in the first place. Is he ready to do that? Most people tend to sweep such things under the carpet saying that it is not a big deal, it does not bother me, it’s not that I am perfect, or he is a better catch than the others out there.

If he does acknowledge that there is a problem, ask him to list out what he sees as issues in the last 3 yrs, and what he sees as the solution. If his solutions contain the words “he has changed” or “he promised never again” - tell him that he either has to live with his partner’s choices, priorities and behavioural patterns (they may not repeat in the exact same manner each time, but they will repeat) and not expect change - or he needs to accept that those are not acceptable to him and move on.
But again, the key is - is he ready to acknowledge that there is a problem?

i don’t think the list is a ’solution’ its a tool analyze the situation. like a lot of tools sometimes it just wont work.

I meant - list out the problems he has had. And then list out what he sees as solutions to the problems.

But agree with you gaurav - the listing exercise is a tool.
And sometimes tools work and sometimes they don’t.

Has anyone been rational in love? Don’t think so!

I’d say, it boils down to one major thing, in the words of Janis Joplin: “Don’t compromise, you’re the only thing you’ve got.”

Insightful……..

i agree with Sumfin….. Compromise and to add one must be an individual

what does one do with the tattoos after you end a relationship? He he he…. sorry… just being really silly…