deapthought, I find it hard to believe that people can go from light flirting to intense emotions without going through the romance route. I think that the slower process of getting to know a person with all romantic things that go with it - allow you to actually enjoy the relationship more and make decisions at the right pace. I have also seen that when people run after instant gratification, their choices are a bit questionable and when they are stuck with them, they tend to regret it.

I agree, Meenakshi. I am definitely in the romance camp here. It just saddens me to see that life is moving at such a fast pace now both in the academic and professional worlds, we seem to parallelize our emotional world with it. It’s not so much an issue with slightly older generations, because the pace of life even 5 years ago was a lot different than it is today. Maybe it’s our responsibility to show young ‘uns the value in a truly romantic relationship

Again, I caveat this by saying there is nothing wrong w/the instant gratification crowd as long as that is the mutually understood arrangement you’re walking into.

Marriage killed romance.

deapthought, agree with you on the instant gratification thing - that it is fine as long as both parties are in the know. Let me clarify - I was talking about people who don’t believe in or have the time for romance. By rushing from one step to another, I think that they are missing out on stopping and smelling the roses; and sometimes the coffee. My point is romance allows you to take things at a certain pace - and that pace allows you to have fun along the way and the time to get to know a person and put things in perspective.

That’s an interesting way of looking at it, Meenakshi. So basically, you’re suggesting that not only is romance a better way to get to know that special somebody, but it also can act as a buffer period, disallowing us from making rash longterm decisions about our lives. I like that

gauravjain, is your wife reading this?

My wife does read this. She will agree too.

Once you get married a lot of other things take over the romance aspect. there is joy in them as well but you have to go out of your way to keep the romance bit alive.

In general anyway, i think considering how many marriages in this country are still arranged there is plenty of forced romance out there.

In this era if 5 yrs counts as generation gap, then I’ll try and put forth reasons of virtaul death of romance.

I am 22. I dont think the peer group has ever allowed us to take romance in the posative way that is being talked abot here. It is something that is rather destined for a natural culmination thanks to emotional survival instinct.

For some reason, youngsters atleast ( in my opinion) seem to fear the whole idea of being in love. yes, they like some1’s presence. they liek holding hands. They like to listen Sweet nothings. But I am not sure how many of them would like these feelings rather den the person involved.

@ Gaurav” i beg to differ, but i feel 4get arrange marriages. Even the relationships r forced these days. GOd knws, if u start peeeping in peoples personal lives, how many are together beacuse they want to be, and how many others because they fear being alone.

As far as cat and mouse chase is concerned, I think it got outdated beacuse of ‘ if not you, next” attitude came in!

Atleast you people seem to know romance, more unfortunate ones like me get to see it only in movies.

Hmmm, see I don’t buy all that “it’s harder for kids nowadays to be romantic” stuff.
Sure there is an image that ppl want to project of being cool and detached, but that has always been there. Look at how macho men wanted to be in the 50’s as compared to now!

It’s all about personal choice. If you choose to make your lovelife some huge game where you act disinterested and detached and you choose to be terrified of love… then, well… that is your choice. You have other options. Your peer groups do not decide your actions (or they shouldn’t anyway).

Khushbu.. eeeeeeek! Most of the people I know are married because they are truly in love! People that just marry out of fear simply don;t make it. But I feel sad that you seem to think that is why most people marry.

Similarly, I do not believe that marriage kills romance. That, again, is a personal thing. I do agree that life gets in the way, but that happens with anything. If you’re not that into romance and it’s not important to you, then that is a choice.

But romance is not all huge gestures and flowers and the like. I think it’s very romantic that my husband has tea waiting for me every day by the bed when I get up.

@ Smallsquirrel, I DID not say thats the reason people marry. I specofically mentinoed relationships. Peel who date! not married people. I dunno much about marriges yet and wudnt like to comment.

N yeah now dat i knw, peer shoulldnt influence. But you see, it is what forms the culture. Just to give an example, If you would’ve been spotted buying valentine cards for your self , you wud be the “mush queen” in a radiculious way. At 116-17, one retrospects, finds it a weekness and works on it…. eventually internalises it.

And most of what I said earlier, is my observation of the way culture is changing in terms of roamance

my best mates younger brother once told me (when he was all of 15) to not take life too seriously. there was no way i was getting out alive.

i loved that line so much, i put it up as my gtalk status!

Gaurav.. you have my 100% support there. The stocking of the fridge, the bills, the cheques…. are the roses and the coffee for us.

Having said that, i also know that when you step out of the shower and just pass the mister and he says “your glowing!”. Isnt that romance or am i an incorrigible romantic?

Apparently, George Bush’s sex life isn’t dead!