Powww… You socked me on the jaw with the subject! Thoughtful post, deapthought! I sort of agree with you - I do think many youngsters seem to view sex as something equivalent to holding hands - but I also think that somewhere in the bottom of their hearts they know that it is something a lot more special than that. I remember reading an India Today survey where 2 questions were asked - and the answers contradicted themselves giving you a little insight into people’s minds.
1. Do you think your girlfriend equates sex with commitment?
Ans: A majority of men - something like 70% - said yes.

2. Would you want your would be wife to be a virgin?
Ans: Again a huge majority - something like 65% said yes.

Hah!! I think it is not just guys though, the same answers can be extended to girls as well, at least in metros.

Wow, necessary discussion I do think!

Well one of the factors could be this…. you tell kids, any kids anywhere, that they should not be doing something… that it is taboo or whatever, and they immediately want to do it. Kids in the Netherlands do not think smoking marijuana is a big deal because it’s not made into a big deal.

Now there are significant differences between smoking pot (am not condoning it, just saying…) and having sex. So it’s not a great analogy. But we’re seeing that kids the world over are getting into it at younger ages. Is it because their parents are not paying enough attention? Harder to gain social acceptance? Peer pressure? Too much graphic sex in the media? Or maybe they just like it….. who knows.

I think one of the problems is this… NO ONE TALKS ABOUT SEX. Kids are left to explore on their own or find out from inexperienced friends. But they are not going to hear it from their moms or dads. I even have female coworkers who are married and have children but don’t know the first thing about sex. Astonishing!

Both of you guys bring up two points that I did not touch upon:

meenakshi - the gender differential - I missed this, but there could be a highly drastic difference between the way young men and young women view sex. I do believe in general women, by nature of their biology, pack a lot more emotional punch into sex - again, I will stick to my guns here and say that the most recent observations I’ve had, both young men and young women seem to be accepting this new devalued version of it.

smallsquirrel - communication (or lack thereof) - how do we engender gen-next with the right tools and intelligence about sex - not only the health implications, but the emotional implications as well? I think this is one of the keys to making sex important again! It must start and end with good parenting. Friends will be friends, but if parents can be friends at the right time as well, I believe they can heavily mold mindsets to the betterment of their children.

“Implications” is the right word, deapthought. While parents are very willing and available to discuss career and grades with their teenage kids, they, usually, do not spend more than 5 minutes of their time to talking to their kids about sex and relationships. Even when they do, its mostly to give them very strict dos and donts - which effectively put a wall in front of this topic. As you rightly pointed out, it is important for parents to spend the time and energy to talk to them on this topic - not just moralize - but be friends and chat. Every 12th grader in India knows about exams and consequences of making bad career choices - and they deserve to know as much about sex and relationships as well so that they understand choices and implications.

I agree… I mean, it goes deeper than that, even… to the point that you end up with adults that are sexually repressed and think that sex within a committed relationship is dirty and bad! So because of poor communication and lack of education you get both extremes!

Guys you said it!
Being a young teenager myself I know what it’s like when you hear elders talking around you about how bad it is to get involved physically with your partner before you get married where as everyone your age around you is “doing it”! Fortunately, I must say, I am glad that my parents are practising doctors! If it weren’t for them I did be a “dumbo” like everyone else around me! I think having the “sex talk” with your child is a must before he or she steps into 10th grade(atleast in Mumbai!) My parents literally haven’t ever dicussed about sex in detail with me, but”I”being me
have always been curious of knowing more about it…like every other teenager! My dad is actually a clinical immunologist working on HIV / AIDS so maybe that is why he was more comfortable talking to me and awaring me about the virus..My parents were very free with me and answered all my queries, and me being so enthusiatic about it, I myself kept my eyes open to all that I could read from here and there which would educate me more! Usually nowadays since,the time we have just set foot in SYJC, my friends have been calling me and asking about various things they did with their partners and what precautions to take and usual stuff like that..cause they assume I would know cause of my parents….fortunately I do..but not every teenager has a “me” to depend upon do they?..That is why i think its a must that parents educate their children about sex and stop living in the past! And another advice to teens my age out there…..get outta that shell…You guys have to read and read and read and try to gain as much knowlegde as you can..if you don’t make any efforts you’ll be acting just like your parents and will always live in fear, anxiety, depression etc. later on in life!
Teens I hope your listening!
BlackBubblegum

Interesting thoughts, deapthoughts! ; - )

Cheers, Rohit

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