My post about The Cradle stirred up a lot of questions and discussion about various issues. I am really happy to see that people are still going to that post and asking all kind of things!

Since many people had asked specifically about what it was like to actually deliver at The Cradle, I thought I would take the time out to write about my experience.

I was scheduled to go in at 8 PM to be induced. I was met in the reception area and promptly showed to my room. No waiting around, no checking to see if the room was ready. It was, with my name and my husband’s name right on the door!

We settled in nicely and someone came round to make sure we had what we needed. What I needed was food. One nice thing about The Cradle is that for a small fee you can also arrange to have your attender’s meals delivered from the canteen at the same time as yours, or they can order food a la carte when they want. The food selection for patients has a bit more variety than for attenders, but you can count on standard Indian fare… dosas, idlies, meals, chappathis, rice, curd, fruit, etc., as well as sandwiches, soups, coffee/tea and fresh juices and milkshakes. The food is not over the top delicious, but it is solidly nutritious and edible. If you are a patient, a dietitian will come and plan your meals out with you according to your health needs and your tastes.

Anyway, my obstetrician came and checked on me and started the induction process. I brought my OB with me from a different hospital (thru prior arrangement with Cradle administration), but I found the consulting OB staff at Cradle to be amazingly good… personable, caring and very thorough and knowledgeable. I would have been comfortable having any of them as my own OB.

Induction failed, and per previous discussions with my OB and the Cradle staff I was prepped and moved to the OT for a C-section. The OT is of a normal size and well-equipped. I felt as comfortable as anyone would feel walking into a room to be prepared for a procedure (which is to say I was terribly nervous), but again the nursing staff and the docs all managed to be caring and attentive while doing their jobs without a hitch.

Post surgery I was attended to by a host of doctors and nurses. One thing I can say is that they have adequate nursing staff on hand at all times. The nurses almost always come in the room in groups of 2, and they are well trained and good at their jobs. I have terrible veins and these women managed to successfully insert a cannula into my hand on the first go (those little plastic ports used to give injections and IVs so they do not have to prick you separately each time) where in other hospitals an anesthesiologist or phlebotomist was called in to do it instead.

The nursing staff and the personalized attention they give patients is one of the big bonuses of The Cradle. In other hospitals the sisters run in and out quickly, usually because of their patient load. Here the nurses will stay to make sure you are comfortable, and will answer any questions you have. They will even take time out to give you a lesson in swaddling your baby or giving them a bath.

During my stay at Cradle I was seen by the duty OB a number of times a day. Also, a very friendly physiotherapist came by a number of times to discuss proper exercise post-discharge, and ways that I could help my own recovery. The dietitian came back to discuss healthy eating and nutrition. And the baby was examined at least once a day, if not more, by a pediatrician/neonatologist. All of this served to ease my mind about my own health and the health of my newborn. At intermittent times other hospital staff dropped by to make sure I had everything I needed.

As I mentioned before the rooms are well appointed. They keep them spotlessly clean, and the housekeeping staff is friendly. There are toiletries for your use in the bathrooms (soap, toothbrush/paste, shower cap, shampoo), nice plush towels and a bathrobe. The Cradle also supplies gowns for patients and they aren’t the usual crappy ones that tie in the back and leave you feeling exposed. Patients are supplied with brightly patterned gowns resembling the ones that most Indian housewives wear at home, but with a bit more style.

Part of the package is that your baby receives a number of screening tests and immunizations. This is really a great help as it saves you from having to remember to ask your pediatrician to do them later. Another HUGE bonus is that the Cradle takes care of the municipal birth certificate for the babies born there. In my book, this is an amazing perk. If you have to do it yourself you have to go with both parents to the proper office, stand in a queue, and engage in God only knows what to get the paperwork processed. And it takes weeks. Cradle has a clerk who does all the work for you, and in a week or two you go back to the Cradle itself to pick it up. No hassles! Amazing!!!

Some asides… The Cradle houses a Barista that stays open late in case you or your attender gets a craving for a smoothie, a cappuccino or a muffin. They also have a store called Blues and Pinks on the lower floor where you can buy anything from car seats, to baby bottles, to a cute little going home outfit for baby. If you forgot a blanket to bring baby home in, or want to buy a snazzy imported diaper bag, you can head here. Word to the wise… some of the things, such as diapers, breast pumps, etc. can be bought at the pharmacy adjacent to the Barista on the first floor at a lower price. Check there first. Also, both the pharmacy and Blues and Pinks deliver home in case you forget something important or run out later!

Did I find anything wrong with the Cradle? Not much. A few minor things. First of all the doctors and nurses don’t wear name tags of any kind. When you are first introduced to them, chances are you are either in pain or a bit drugged, so you end up forgetting who is who. For the first 2 days I confused half the duty docs. Plus the nurses never tell you their names unless you ask, and I felt weird just calling them “sister” since they were doing so much for me. What else? Well the trays that you eat off of just rest on the bed railings instead of being something on wheels. This is kind of inconvenient, because if the tray is left on the bed, someone has to come clear it or you’re trapped in bed! I felt odd asking the nurses to do that… so if my attender was gone I was in a bind. Also there is really nowhere in the room for the attender to eat comfortably, as the only side table is heavy and not moveable. And I found that the hall lights at night were sometimes left on, making the room unbearably bright… so we had to ask the nurses to turn them off. Those are my biggest complaints… all very minor considering! Oh, and I told the dietitian that I hate cut apples and I got them with every dinner.

So all in all, especially after my experience there, I would highly recommend the Cradle to anyone deciding where to give birth. You’re not going to get this quality of medical and personal attention for your money at any other hospital in Bangalore.

I have done some voice-over work in the past. Nothing too strenuous or top-shelf, but it’s hard work.
You sit with the client, go over the materials and understand what they want to convey. You check things like names to make sure you are saying them correctly. You go over vocal styles, emotion, pitch… all the variables. Then you get into the booth and do take after take of the material just in case the client hears it later and decides to go in a different direction. It’s grueling and takes a lot of concentration.

So I wonder what in the name of professional television is going on over at Discovery Travel and Living. Who in hell is in charge of voice-overs for India, and why do they have seem to have NO GRASP of the material they are covering?

Why do I say this? It seems that every other promo or intro for a show that has been taped for India Discovery Travel and Living has a GLARING mispronunciation. And I do not mean the difference between British English and American English, which is simply a dialect difference. I mean just flat out crap, like:

1. There is a show called “Chic Eats”. The chic part should be pronounced like “sheek” not “chick”. But Nooooooo… there is it… “You’re watching Chick Eats”
To my thinking, then, I need to be either watching a baby chicken eating, or some hot young girl.

2. Recently they were promoing a new series. I forget the whole name. But it had the word tortilla in it. And the announcer said it like “tor-TILL-a” Come on people… it is a show about Latinos, so please… say it with me “tor-TEE-yah”

3. They screw names up like I cannot believe. Names of famous people. Anthony Bourdain. Heidi Klum. And they are running promos for these peoples’ shows! SAYING THEIR NAMES WRONG!

Now I can understand having a mess-up every now and again. But they use the same woman for all the promos, and she’s horrible. Where is the producer? Is the producer a total moron? Has no one checked the pronunciation of any of these words or names?!?!?!? Furthermore this woman has terribly effected speech. It is clear she went to some voice coach to sound less Indian and more… something. The result is that she just sounds weird. The stress is on all the wrong words in a sentence, and it sounds terribly unnatural for either British or American English. And Indian English, for that matter!

So at the end of the day I am left wondering…why not just get someone with an Indian accent? That way it’s not this ridiculous parody of another accent. And it’s a TV show in India, for God’s sake. What is so wrong with an Indian accent? I would rather listen to that than some fake euro accent any day.

And on that account, I notice more and more commercials doing the same.. employing people for voice-over work that have some strangely effected tone and accent that actually doesn’t fit anyone’s real speech patterns. It’s shameful.

Every morning and evening on my way to and from work, I have to venture down New B.E.L. Road. And this experience leaves me with my heart in my throat each and every time.

New B.E.L. Road is a wide, straight tree-lined road with absolutely no median. As a result, people drive like absolute maniacs with no regard for the lives of others. The traffic coming from M.S. Ramaiah Hospital toward Mekhri Circle is coming at 70 KPH, at they take up 3/4 of the road… recklessly driving at oncoming traffic and refusing steadfastly to give way.

I cannot understand this phenomenon. And it’s everyone… buses, autos, bikes and cars all drive straight at us every morning, lights flashing. How can I give way?!?!??! YOU’RE ON MY SIDE OF THE ROAD AND I AM PRACTICALLY DRIVING ON THE FOOTPATH!

And this example is only one of many that I witness every day. Each morning and evening I shake my head incredulously at people cutting off traffic to turn left from the right-hand most lane. Or overtaking from the left. Or turning into traffic without looking even once to see if someone is already occupying the lane. I am incredulous at how careless the driving has become in Bangalore. Even in the last 7 months, it has become worse than ever.

And it seems to be a brand of horrible driving particular to Bangalore, because I did not witness nearly this much insanity in Delhi. OK, Mumbai is bad, but it’s a shade better than Bangalore. And while Hyderabad is crowded, it was not nearly as bad.

Why are Bangalore drivers so bad???? What can we do to stop this activity. Delhi just recently doubled traffic fines. Would that work here? And why don’t people recognize that if they stopped driving so badly that traffic would actually decrease?

Last night I went with my husband to see Provoked. In case you’ve been hibernating, this movie is based on the true story of Kiranjit Ahluwalia, a Punjabi woman who entered an arranged marriage with an NRI in London, and suffered heinous abuse for the next 10 years. The abuse ended one night when she finally snapped and killed him.

I won’t give away too much of the movie, because I think you should see it (or maybe read up on it) yourself. Domestic violence is a serious issue that I think many of us don’t think about nearly often enough.

I never did until I had housemate in university whose boyfriend used to kick the sh** out of her on the regular. One day I got good and sick of it, kicked her door in and tried to break it up. I thought all she needed was one good intervention, and I was shocked later when she accepted him back.

After than confusing series of events, I went to one of my friends who worked at a domestic violence program to learn about the cycle of abuse. I think it is easy to judge women in abusive relationships without understanding them. I think we all think “this would never be me.” It took a long time for me to understand why some women stay with their abusers until it is too late. I learned all about what happens to women psychologically when they are subjected to that kind of abuse. That these women feel trapped. That the abusers break them down, break their self-esteem so that they feel in some ways that the abuse is warranted. That many times, the women do not feel they have anyone to turn to and no other options. And that most frightening of all, that at the time a woman decides to leave a man like this, or she tries to stand up to him, the man is actually at his most violent and out of control point. Because of this experience I later went on to be a rape crisis counselor.

In this day and age, abuse starts early. Girls, if you have a boyfriend who tells you what you can and cannot wear, who you can talk to, etc…. be wary. This is the early stages of control, and it is definitely not a good sign. Have one conversation with him tell him how that makes you feel. If he will not listen, leave him. And let your friends and family know about the problem. Silence is an abusers best friend. If your boyfriend hits you, he does not love you. Seriously. I do not care how many times he apologizes, or how wonderful he is afterwards. Abusers have patterns. They abuse you, then they treat you wonderfully for a while. That kind of rush can become addictive to some people, but it is not love. It is abuse.

And abuse can be psychological or physical. Someone telling you that you are unworthy or that no one else will love you is the same as being slapped or punched. It is simply your self-esteem taking the beating. And in the long-run it is just as damaging as physical abuse.

Women, if you are married and your husband is abusive, tell someone that you trust. Talking about it is the first step to getting help. If he forces you to have sex with him, that is rape. Yes, it is possible to be raped by one’s spouse, and the instances of marital sexual abuse within India are staggering. If you can trust your physician, tell him or her. Hitting or beating is never OK. Berating and name calling are not alright. If you have children it is doubly important that you get help. Children that witness abuse in the household are sadly extremely likely to grow up to become abusers themselves. It is a cycle of violence that takes it’s toll on everyone.

I think it is also important to remember that not every case of abuse is as severe as Kiranjit’s. Maybe your husband will not rape you or hold a hot iron to your face and threaten to burn your eyes out. But if he calls you fat or stupid, if he refuses to let you talk to your friends without him present (or refuses to let you have friends), if he slaps you when you argue… those are abuse. And you do not have to take it. Seek help.

If you know of domestic violence hotlines or helpgroups within Bangalore or Mumbai, please post them here. Help save someone’s life.

As I had mentioned in a previous post, I have had my share of headaches when it comes to finding adequate healthcare facilities (read: not physicians necessarily, but the places where they pratice) in Bangalore. After a midnight visit to the Manipal general maternity ward, I was given a rather rude awakening about their offerings, and I realized there was no way I could deliver my baby there in August.

Then one Sunday afternoon in March all my prayers were answered in the form of…. The Cradle.

My husband’s cousin had recommended this “boutique” maternity hospital in Jayanagar, but I was skeptical. Luckily, as soon as I walked through their doors, all my fears left me and a massive grin remained plastered on my face throughout the tour. Yes, I said TOUR! Can you imagine staff taking time out to give you a tour of any other hospital?

The lobby is inviting and sparkling clean. There is a Barista coffee shop, a small store where you can buy cute maternity clothes and toys, couches and a TV. From there, we saw a dedicated room for prenatal yoga and exercise, and the OPD with nicely decorated and perfectly equipped exam rooms. But the best was yet to come.

The patient rooms and the Labor/Delivery/Recovery rooms.

The Cradle offers only private rooms. They are extremely well appointed with central A/c, TV, food heating/cooling unit, soothing decorations (the rooms look like something you would find in a 5-star hotel, not a hospital), and reasonable attender beds. And the bathrooms… oh the bathrooms…. SPOTLESS with a huge walk-in shower with multiple jets (a must for relieving labor pain), big fluffy towels and, yes people…. lovely terrycloth bathrobes. Just like a spa!

The Cradle also offers maternity suites where the attender gets his/her own room with bed AND bathroom, complete with a private entrance so as not to disturb mother and baby when they are sleeping!!!

The LDR room is just as amazing. It, too, looks like a 5-star hotel room with soothing, homey tones and touches (drapery, a couch, no harsh lighting). But as was demonstrated to us, when it’s showtime all the necessary equipment and lighting comes out of cabinets and you suddenly have a fully functional delivery room. AMAZING!

The Cradle also has 2 operating rooms, a level 3 Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and a staff with a list of qualifications that will make your head spin. We met with the Founder and CEO Dr. Kishore Kumar. This is a man with an astounding list of qualifications (he has done Fellowships all over the world, and has now come home to India), yet he is one of the nicest, most down-to-earth people I have ever met. He answered all our questions honestly and at length, despite a probably hectic schedule… and made time for comforting small talk.

So suffice it to say I am more than happy. This is more than I would have even hoped for in the US. If you’re expecting a baby, and you live anywhere close to Jayanagar, I would really encourage you to check this place out. It might be a bit more expensive than other hospitals, but it’s well worth it. The facilities, staff and doctors will leave you feeling well taken care of.

OK so there is really not going to be a delicate way for me to talk about this. I am sorry if I offend anyone, but when I read the article this AM on the front page of the Times of India about the Indian Supreme Court defining the long-used term of a woman’s ‘modesty’ I think I about hit the roof.

There is apparently some long-standing penal charge on the books of “outraging a woman’s modesty” which was never really defined. So the SC came out with a definition of this modesty, which is ” the essence of a woman’s sex”

My issue is this. Under the penal code, any act which falls short of actual penetration of the above named ‘essence’ (which is indirectly referring to the female sexual organ) is simply an outrage of modesty. You have to have penetration of this particular part for there to be a charge of rape.

I have never heard of something so entirely draconian and upsetting in my life.I can think of at least 5 other ways in which a woman can be violated which should qualify as rape, but apparently… not.

Now, I am happy that there is a serious charge for harassment. But this same charge simply is not enough to cover all forms of violation. And that definition! WHAT? The essence of my modesty is my sex? Oh so if you offend any other part of my body, my modesty should by all accounts still be intact?

Women, how does this make you feel? Do you feel at all protected by this clause?
Men, do you feel this charge is serious enough to deter anyone from crimes against women?

So over the past few months I have noticed quite a few TV commercials that have raised my eyebrows and caused me to think “Did I just see that?!?!?!??!”

1. One of them is the Veneta Cucine commercial with the family who “doesn’t want to cook.” Normal feeling, sure. But then we get to how the family is characterized. All light skinned, proportioned normally and dressed well. In comes the servant, and OH MY GOD! She is dark dark dark, wearing one itty bitty skimpy saree, a tight blouse, and her proportions…… massive breasts, teensy waist, and a huge bum.

Each time the commercial comes on I gasp. What are they saying with this characterization? All dark skinned people should be maids? All maids should be proportioned like Lara Croft and dress like prostitutes?

You could never get away with this overseas. There would be riots and lawsuits galore from minority organizations. Not that I condone that, either… but why is this kind of characterization acceptable here?

2. The next ad is part of that annoying series of Zatak Set Wet body deo commercials. This is the one where the cute young teacher is at the chalkboard, and one boy comes late to class. Apparently he smells good because suddenly she is reduced to acting like a foolish hormonal teen, shaking her head and giggling while obviously indulging in some hot fantasy.

AIYO! This is a teacher! And they have her basically fantasizing about bedding one of her students! How is this at all appropriate. Are they just going with the “hot for teacher” fantasy that most young men have when their hormones are racing? But now we’re giving them a way to make the teacher give in? I fail to understand how this commercial is acceptable. At the least, it is demeaning to women… HEY! Just smell good and you can turn any professional woman into an embarrassing, sex-obsessed pedophile!

So, have you noticed any commercials lately that made you say “WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?”

This AM my boss sent out a very nonchalant email informing us that we need to make ourselves available all weekend through next thursday for a team visiting from out of the country. He also said that if any of us had travel or other plans we would have to change them.

Now maybe it’s just me, but this whole thing seems very disrespectful. I don’t mind working weekends sometimes. But this is a growing issue. And to tell me just a few days before that I have not only lost my entire weekend but also my Ugadi holiday, (and that it is non-negotiable) seems wholly ridiculous. And yet others in my office are not as incensed as I seem to be.

Is this kind of thing normal here? Should I be outraged or simply plan to slog it out?
Do tell!

My husband and I were running around the city today doing errands and looking at maternity hospitals (more to come on that) and we realized we were past due for lunch. We tried to go to Mast Kalandar in Kormamangala cause we’ve been wanting to try it out, but apparently that closes between 3:30 and 7 PM. So we decided on a whim to visit Railroad.

We walked in and it seemed pleasant enough. Bright interiors, brand new…. so we thought “why not?” I was not in the mood for Chinese, but we were both very hungry and sick of driving.

The menu seemed varied enough, with balanced veg and non-veg options for soups, starters and main courses. We split a veg dimsum, my husband got a veg hotpot, I got kung pow chicken, and we split a side of rice.

As we were waiting for the meal to come, we noticed a sign on the wall saying something to the effect of “everything served in food grade microwave-safe boxes”

EH?

We realized exactly what that meant when our nuclear-hot, but half-rubbery/half crispy dumsum arrived in one plain while microwave dish. Yes, that’s right folks… all the food at Railroad is cooked in the microwave. eeeeeeewwww. The dimsum had good flavor and the vinegary but spicy dipping sauce was tasty and gingery, but neither of us could get past the horrible texture of the wrappers that had been destroyed by the microwaving. And they give you only 6 small pieces for rs. 50.

The main course was not much better. My kung pow chicken was in a flavorless, starchy gravy and contained 6-7 small chunks of equally tasteless chicken…. with a few cashews strewn on top for decoration. My husband’s hot pot was full of nice veggies… carrots, gourd, capsicum, corn, etc. but he said the gravy was too salty. The portions were fairly small, and let me tell you…. I really don’t expect to pay nearly 300 rupees for 2 small sodas, one starter, two meager (MICROWAVED) entrees and a small portion of steamed rice.

My advice, don’t even think about pulling into this station. Go to Yo! China…. which although not the best in Chinese fare is quick, tasty, cheap… and not microwaved!

I have had some pretty interesting experiences here in Bangalore when looking for healthcare providers.

My first experience was months ago. I had a throat infection, and it wasn’t going away. I finally broke down and decided to see a doctor. I do not like going to the doctor. My husband is a doctor and most of my family is in the health profession. Anyway, a friend recommended a nearby health clinic in Koramangala, saying it was clean and modern and inexpensive. At first I was impressed. They called a consultant Ear, Nose and Throat specialist and told us to come back at 5 PM the same day!

As we sat in the waiting room, I wondered who my doctor was going to be. An older woman, very well put together in an immaculate saree and shimmering gray hair tied neatly into a topknot walked in. I beamed with happiness. But as luck would have it, she wasn’t my doctor. Then I spied a woman standing in the median of the road outside. She was slightly disheveled and well, how do I say this nicely… um, she was digging in her nose. And you guessed it, that was my doctor. Who proceeded to examine me without washing her hands or wearing gloves. And I was so shocked I just sat there, mouth gaping. ewwwwwwwww…..

Months have passed since then and now I am pregnant with my first child. My husband and I picked Manipal Hospital because its close and has a good reputation. And we like our obstetrician a lot. But my experience with the facility itself has been less than stellar.

One night recently, I was feeling terrible in the middle of the night. I was in a lot of pain, and we went to the Emergency Room at Manipal. So we get to the ER and they make me sit in a wheelchair while my husband goes to talk to the doctor on duty. Meanwhile, the orderly wheels me into the waiting area, and decides to park me (despite a good amount of open space elsewhere) FACE TO FACE with some poor guy lying on a gurney suffering from major head lacerations with blood pouring out of the cuts, his mouth and nose. eeeeeeeek!

I am finally shifted up to the maternity ward to see a doctor. I go to use the bathroom while I wait, and let me tell you… it’s not a pretty sight. We were made to leave our shoes at the door to the ward, so I realized I would have to pull a Britney Spears and use the loo in my bare feet. Might I add that the floor was soaking wet and slippery? Because that is precisely what you want…. wet floors in a bathroom that wobbly pregnant women are using. Anyway I make my way over to the toilet and try to ignore the blood all over the commode, then I go to wash my hands. Lo and behold, no soap. No hand towels either.

So now I am scared. I could sign up for the VIP suites when I go in to have the baby, but what does that mean? They will make sure the filthy soap dispenser has soap? I get to wear chappals in the loo? No random blood spatter?

I am annoyed because all people deserve better treatment than this. Yes, it’s the general ward, but even people who cannot afford a VIP room need to use soap after a visit to the bathroom. They deserve a cleaner environment. My husband worked in a PHC in a rural village and even he was shocked by the conditions at Manipal. The doctors might be wonderful (and most of them are… the treatment I am receiving is by all means world-class) but the facilities are shabby and well, frightening.

And I don’t even know what to say about doctor nose-picker. That was a one-off, I am sure… I HOPE.