OMI
As school kids we learnt ‘parenting is a shared responsibility’. But with time it has changed, today parenting can be a shared responsibility or a sole responsibility. Parenting without a partner certainly calls for a role play. Nobody ever said single parenting is easy. As parents, all learn with time. And yes, the new men are ready to take up the challenge. Be it legal, social, emotional and practical challenges they face. Father, the word that means so much, the pillar of support and their companionship means the world to all. However, Mom is a mom and dad can’t be mom or vice the versa. But they can try and act. The art of being a successful dad demands one to master the act of being mummy. Divorced fathers, never-married fathers, widowers, and gay fathers all add up to the single father, who undergoes the difficult job of being a great dad. The daily house chores, shopping for kids, educational expenses, leisure activities and the never ending ‘to buy’ list can make many burned out. For Yudi, Swapnil and Kevin & Krishna, it’s a joyous experience and an inspiration for life. Let’s meet men of substance who have dared to be different, bold & beautiful.

Yudi, a fitness trainer from Bangalore is a divorcee and a proud papa of 10 year old boy, Varun. “I have been close to my son since he was one year. It was really difficult to bring him up, as I was broken down completely when his Mom left us. But Life goes on and things took shape gradually. Today when he says Papa you are better than any Mom and the the the the best father. I feel hardship has been rewarded” he admits. For Swapnil Baneerjee the story is different, he lost his wife when his daughter was four. Since then it has been a life full of struggle for him & Rhea, who is 14 years old today. He says “Looking back at life, I feel Rhea was a super girl. She was a tom boy, notorious & very sporty but matured as the situations developed. I have been tough dad to her always keeping an eye. But always loved her from the core of my heart and today she knows all I did was for her good; now more of a friend than a father to her. She is the chef of our kitchen and really cooks well. Yet, till today when I say no it means a NO for her.” Tears roll down as he let his emotions out, Rhea comes for rescue and adds “Pa has always been good to me. It was me, the pesky pet who always troubled him. But now I have changed, look I can prepare food, clean my house and also get good grades in class. What more you need. Hain na Pa.” Both smiles and laughs out.

However, it is even more difficult for gay dads to establish and nurture a healthy relation with their children. Owning up to one’s homosexuality always requires courage, after all, the very real fear of social stigma with a prejudice against homosexuality still exists. More over in India it is next to impossible but they are many who are out and marched forward with grace and in style. Kevin & Krishna are gay, living in Mumbai with their kid Rock (12years). Kevin is a painter and other runs a fancy stores. His paintings will let you know at first glance that he hails from Goa. When asked about how they met, was it love at first sight. Kevin giggles and Krishna mentions “that happens in film & books not in reality. For us love dwelled with time. We were a chat buddy; met after a year full of chatting. From a stranger, we turned to be good friends and one day he just proposed me and I said no. Later after a year, I asked him to be my soul mate and we promised to be there for each other through thick & thin. This is our story.” What about Rock, Kevin says “he must be 10 years when we asked him to stay with us. He wandered from street to street begging for food but had something in him, may be the self respect. He is not adopted legally but means no less than our baby. He calls both of us Dad. Even for Krishna & me, it is trust and love that unites us, not legal bonds.”

True, we all agree love requires trust and trust requires honesty. Legal bonds are a passé, with youngster on the move live-in relationship has its own place. To be loved and staying together happily is more important than an eventful party to be termed married. Relationship is a complex formula that works out differently for different individual. You can be with a person when (s) he is away from you or act strangers even being together under one roof. It’s all in the thought, mind and heart. Being an actively involved single dad isn’t going to be easy. But looking on Men who have been a successful single father it is possible, all you need is time, patience & proper planning.

What you wear under your clothes speaks your mind. Yes, the world of men’s inner wear has come a long way from the days when the only thing available was boring boxers or tailor made ‘chaddi’. Today it is more than a style statement, a means of self expression.

Study shows a man who wears well fit underwear is more successful in life. When bollywood heartthrobs Saif & Shah Rukh are flaunting it out, how can their fans be left out? After all, it is fashionable to show out the straps with the designer tag, they spell style & attitude and good thing comes for a cost

Today you have a plethora of under gear. Thongs, trunks, bikinis, briefs, boxers, and jock straps you name it and you’ll find designs suitable for special day, every day and any other use you can imagine. In the market you can check VIP, Jockey, Tommy, Hannes and other brands that have come out with their exclusive collection for the New Men, which are more sexy & stylish.

Fetish for fancy wear has made Indians to go on a virtual tour for e- shopping. It’s a world where you can discover your wildest fantasy does exist and some one has designed it for you. Letting their imagination run wild, people doesn’t mind paying big price.

Not only are underwear getting sexier & bolder, men are getting more innovative with their usage. “I love my guy when he wears the red undy with a caption ‘taste me’. He is fat but I love his good sense of humour,” says Niharika, Accent trainer, Bangalore. And all I can say is underwear is no doubt one of the seduction tools to spice up your sex life. Wear your attitude!

OMI

Peace! The ultimate bliss every individual on earth is seeking & starving for, the word that unites the world evolving into a happy & holy place to live in. However, where do we get peace? Today, we wander from place to place in the pursuit of peace. Do peace really exist or just a mere word in the lexicon. Why do we pledge for peace? Ripple of thoughts flow when you magnify the world through the eyes of hope.

Lust, greed, pride, anger, attachment are so synonymous with human being. The physical form is entrapped by the vices that have ruled our mind & soul. What about love? It exists in the hearts but has metamorphosed with time; the love that dwells is the materialistic one. We are more mechanical & technical in life yet fail to get peace. The primary reason is time. No time for our family & friends. Are we so occupied and only respite is on national holidays. Don’t you think we have spun a web of complexities out of nothing? The beautiful thought flashes in my mind “If you cannot change time, it is time to change”.

Man’s mind has become vagrant & wild and the heinous deeds of mankind are reaping hyper tension, hatred & death. The debatable issues like the nuclear deal, global warming, Tibet trauma, bomb blast, the racial race & child molestation has grave emotional stress to all. Deals done, treaties signed yet the memorandum of understanding doesn’t guarantee peace. After all, peace can’t be purchased. An analysis of the problem proves that it all stems from man’s mind. Mind- the deadliest weapon of world and mind you, unemployment that leads to student unrest has its own heavy toll. As the saying goes “Empty mind is the devils workshop”.

The root of all evils that causes sorrow & sufferings springs from human mind. One must realize that peace is rooted in the mind in the form of thoughts which are manifested into actions. Self realization and self purification is required not just chanting mantras. There is PEACE IN WORLD when there is PEACE IN I. I am not my name. I am not what my profession is. So Who am I? The simplest question that brings positive thoughts and righteous actions must be answered. “As I walked by myself, I talked by myself and myself replied to me and the questions myself, then put to myself with their answers I give to thee”.
Om Shanti.

Well folks, it’s not about some talk show or speed dating but observation in a cafeteria while sipping coffee and leisurely reading the daily paper. A regular to the coffee café, every morning I used to drop in and grab the daily dose of drink. As I enjoyed my Cappuccino, my eyes watched people near by and ears trapped the chit chat. It was tons of fun.

Good morning kiss and a hug was a common way to start a conversation among young. Aunties scored good grade over daily house chore talks whilst uncles discussed about the men in blue. Miss mobile’s, kept blabbering on cell and yes you do get to discover workaholics, who opens up their notebook and God knows what they keep tabbing. Right from love to lust, money to movies, you get to listen all.

As usual I entered, but this time my eyes got attracted to a bunch of boys who were very animated and well dressed too, so sat just next to them. As I did, could hear nothing. They were dumb and deaf yet so alive and kicking. Amazed at the art, it was like a dance form. The graceful moments of their hands and the expressive eyes were in tandem with their thoughts, clearly expressed. They joked, debated and enjoyed. They were talking about a guy from the group itself and his failed promises; in return he was supporting himself giving reasons which ended in a joke for all. It was a simple discussions but different.

The art of conversation they had was unique…. it was silent but meaningful. Their facial expression, hand gestures and body postures communicated messages effectively. Many times our words fail to express but a right gesture explains it all, For example smiling is a powerful cue that transmits happiness, friendliness & warmth. The conversation elucidated the importance of non verbal communication. When both verbal and non verbal forms of communications are used properly, the conversation is more meaningful & clear.
In a cafeteria, coffee mug is in my hand and my eyes on you. I just love good coffee and great conversation.
Om shanti om!

When we talk about scientific discoveries & inventions that have revolutionized our life, computer & mobile play a vital role. Computer & mobile are such achievements which have made our life more efficient smooth & comfortable. Email & SMS are the most remarkable features that have changed the outlook & lifestyle of mankind today. They are a part of life. One just can’t do without it.
However, the gift to mankind when misused can turn out to be a problem maker. Inbox flooded with commercials & spam, frequent calls & emails from strangers. A real BIG problem everybody goes through. The means of making life easier makes life more miserable unless we follow some electronic etiquette.

Email
• Subject: always use the subject line. Many emails without subject line are simply deleted. Subject line helps to sort emails easily. Keep it short & simple.

• Blind carbon copy: when sending out an email to a group, send the addresses from the blind carbon copy (bcc). It will save you from giving out other email addresses.

• Write it right: never write emails like SMS text. Write like an adult and check your spelling. Use spell check on every letter send out, you will look more educated. Write what you would say. Remember, if you hit ‘send’ before ‘delete’ there is no going back.

• Don’t yell: emails written using caps lock is same as yelling. Netizens do check your grammar.

• Signature: It’s suggested to create a signature for your emails. Whenever you email someone, ensure you include your details. At the bottom of each email you should have your name, company name and contact details. It is an excellent way to promote your business either through a by-line or a link to your site. It’s also a matter of courtesy.

• Be positive: If someone is not responding to your emails, follow it up with a call.

Mobile

• Ring tone: Keep the ring tone discreet. No one wants to be distracted by noises coming from your phone.

• Turn it off: show some respect for the person you are meeting with by turning your cell off. Attending calls during a meeting is telling the person that there is something more important than they are.

• Calls can wait: If you are making calls and have ‘cal waiting’ let the incoming call go if you are on a business call. But don’t fail to phone the caller later.

• Easily accessed: Whenever you are in a public place, keep your cell in an accessible place. Don’t keep searching for it until it is too late to retrieve the call.

• Not a cutlery: It is a bad manner to leave your phone visible on a table, unless there is an extenuating circumstance.

• Inform: If you have to leave the phone on, inform the people you are meeting that there is a call you are waiting on and it is important. It is always wise to put your phone on silent and vibrate mode.

• Don’t yell: many speak loudly that everyone nearby can hear the conversation. Always speak slow & softly. If the line is faint go to where you can speak loudly without disturbing others.

Last but not the least, stay happy & healthy.
Om shanti Om!